Grief & Loss is a topic we explore in the master class “Your Family’s War Journey”. It is a topic that many genealogists and military researchers should be exploring but do not. I explain why in my new video.
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© 2021 Ancestral Souls
Are you ready to step into a new dimension for genealogy and military research and writing as well as your own personal story? My master class, Your Family’s War Journey can take you to new depths in exploring personal and family patterns, blocks, and traumas. Together in a safe space, we will discuss on family’s World War II story and the path each member took for healing.
Read more about this class, what’s included, and watch another video on the registration page.
Class starts 25 January 2021 with a meet and greet and more details on what to expect. You must purchase a book as part of this class but even if you join by the 25th, our first reading discussion is 1 February so you have plenty of time to join and participate.
Questions? Just ask at info@wwiirwc.com.
I look forward to walking this journey with you!
© 2021 Ancestral Souls
What is healing? Why does it matter if we explore and do it as we research our family’s past, our military past, and look at our personal journeys?
To learn more about what I offer and how I can help you shift your life and heal your lineage, visit https://linktr.ee/jenniferholik
Since I began traveling in Europe in 2015, I have visited many WWI and WWII museums, concentration camps, memorials, battlefields, cemeteries, destroyed villages, bomb craters, and other places in which sad/bad/negative/evil things took place. Being an empath I tend to feel much of the energy in these spaces, whether than is positive or negative. I know many of my readers experience similar things. How often do you consider the emotions these places create in you that can be used for change and healing? Or do you experience them for a moment and brush them off and move on?
I read an article recently called, Why We Should Visit Museums That Make Us Think and Cry. I tend to feel, think, and cry in many places I visit so this article really called to my soul. The article focuses more on human and civil rights museums rather than military, but the concept is still the same.
“It’s really important to consider historic and contemporary issues from multiple perspectives so we can combat bias and prejudice – which we might not even realize we have until presented with an alternative view. This is fundamental to understanding and promoting human rights.” Throughout history, and even today, we can see patterns of denial and minimization of human-rights atrocities, along with efforts to silence the survivors and witnesses. These issues are not easy or comfortable, but it’s our role and responsibility to provoke thought and conversation that leads to education – which is the most powerful force for human rights in the world.”
Dr. Jodi Giesbrecht, CMHR director of research and head curator
These spaces are important because for many of us, not all, they create conversation. Often we will visit places like this with someone. As we wander through an exhibit, a cemetery, a concentration camp, or other place, things call to us that we must comment on. Through conversation we hear someone else’s point of view about what is being expressed in the exhibit, etc. Conversation may create questions or points of view for us to sit with, meditate on, journal on, that we had not considered.
These spaces through conversation, meditation, thinking, push us to feel something more than we might have just reading an article or seeing someone’s vacation photos on Facebook. This may then create the need in us to do something about the issues we now know more about. This includes things from history like the Holocaust or combat in World War II.
How can we do something about those issues since they are in the past? Many people are still dealing with the trauma and effects of these events, among many others that have happened in our collective history. Inherited trauma creates in the descendants of those who participated or lived through these events, issues that create chaos, depression, sadness, anxiety or panic and many other things in their lives. Unresolved grief can devastate a family for generations. Yet by visiting these places that evoke emotions and thought, we can best determine how we personally should move forward to help heal the collective.
Doing something could be that we start talking with our own families about their experiences in the war, civil rights, genocide, Holocaust, or other collective trauma events. Writing those stories, learning the lessons, and sharing with others – even within our family – will help.
My belief and what I have experienced throughout my career as a family and military researcher is that if I can impact ONE person, it will ripple out beyond anything I can imagine. Some people do not believe this. They believe you have to stand and speak in front of thousands to have any effect on change or healing. That isn’t my belief. I have seen that if I help one person – teach one person – facilitate some healing in one person – they will go on to do more and tell others what their experience was and how the learned/changed/healed – and that may inspire someone else to look at their life and beliefs and make changes.
What have you experienced in these places? Where did you go? What happened while you were there? What thoughts and changes did you make? What conversations did you have? How did it impact your life, living, and reality? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls
“While there has been abundant research quantifying war’s psychological impact, much of it has focused on PTSD, depression, and substance or alcohol abuse associated with combat exposure, there has been limited focus on grief among veterans.”
Pauline Lubens
In World War I we heard the term SHELL SHOCK. In World War II we heard COMBAT FATIGUE. After Vietnam we didn’t hear much new unless it was in regard to how many Americans viewed returning veterans in a negative light. Then by the 1980s we had PTSD to label veterans suffering from a variety of illnesses that were previously undiagnosed or ignored.
PTSD trickles down through our DNA into future generations. Growing up in a household where PTSD exists can create this in children and other family members. Any traumatic situation we find ourselves in can create PTSD symptoms.
With all the studies on PTSD and veterans, one primary component, especially when we look at veteran suicide is GRIEF. Yet, grief has not been studied until recently. Grief also creates issues for not only the veteran but the family and friends close to the veteran.
Unresolved, unacknowledged grief over what someone did in combat, or did not do, who they lost, survivor’s guilt and sadness of being the only one left, and many other ways veterans hold grief all contribute to their state of mind, the life they live, the joy (or lack of )they feel. This unresolved grief also affects those closest to them.
Finally, the University of California Irvine conducted a study on grief in veterans. You can read about it here. It is interesting what they discovered and how it deeply affects veterans, even separately from any PTSD they may have or had, and how it affects families.
A radio interview was done with the Ph.D. student who conducted the study and several listeners called in to contribute to the conversation, including a female Graves Registration Service soldier. The interview is powerful and full of many themes I feel we should all be exploring with our own families – even if we have to go back to our WWII or Korean War veterans to ask questions and look for family patterns. Grief is something passed down also.
In our society we are taught/trained/told to buck up, shove things inside, deal with it and move on, or solve a problem, when we talk about grief. We are given 2-3 days of leave from our jobs if someone in the family dies. Apparently all we need is 2-3 days to deal with arrangements, grieve, forget and move on. Our western society has not done a good job helping people to learn how to grieve, or explain why it is important to do so.
I invite you to explore the times and places in your life and family history where there was an opportunity to grieve and instead you pushed it away or did not fully deal with it. Consider the cost of that to yourself, your health, your family life, your history. How did your family veterans handle grief? How did their spouses and children? How do you? How can you begin to change this?
Do you need a resource to help you? I am taking a couple of courses with Shauna Janz through Sacred Grief. I am finding these grieving courses extremely helpful. I encourage you to check them out. I wrote an article about her Healing Conversations class here.
The website What’s Your Grief is also full of resources and articles. Have you explored this site?
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© 2020 Ancestral Souls
Historical Fiction. A lot of people do not like this genre because they do not consider it “real” history. I quite enjoy it because I read a tremendous amount of “real” history every day for my work and personal growth. Sometimes it is nice to get lost in a historical fiction book, even if it is WWII based, and be exposed to new ideas. I appreciate it when the author does her or his homework and provides a bibliography or additional titles within their Author Notes. I know I am not the only person who explores things they had not heard of because they read about it in a historical fiction book.
I read The Paris Orphan on Thanksgiving. It’s almost 450 pages and I could not put it down. I even stayed up late to finish it because I had to know how it ended, even though I had an idea, though hoped I was wrong.
This book is historical fiction inspired by the life of female model and war correspondent and photographer, Lee Miller.
The main character Jessica May is a model for Vogue and a photographer, who chooses to join the war effort and has to deal with discrimination, rape, abuse from the men in the military, a desire to do more than “be a pretty face” or someone’s “sex doll”. The author brings in real-life female correspondents like Martha Gellhorn, Hemmingway’s wife, Lee Carson, Iris Carpenter, and others as she weaves her magic with words.
Jess, like all other women during the war, had to prove themselves over and over. To constantly beg or demand for the opportunity to do the job they were hired for. To go where women had not gone before and help men realize they were fully capable of doing so. Jess and her colleagues also had to deal with traumatizing topics of life and war.
Jess is confronted during the war with the issue of not only hearing the Russians went through and raped German women, but also knowing the American soldiers were doing the same to French, Belgian, Dutch, and German women. We would all like to think none of our soldiers/family members could have done this, but we might be surprised at just how many did if the truth came out. Jess debates writing an article about this after being unable to stop a rape from happening. In the end, to avoid being kicked out of her job, she opts to wait until the war is over to write this particular story. The author raises a question in her reading guide about whether or not this was cowardly or brave.
She also fights her own battle with her male superior officer who tries in every way to make her life a living hell. Sadly, he usually succeeded. She and the other female correspondents all have to deal with his ego and imagined superiority. I wonder how many of our female ancestors, whether in military service or who worked any job outside the home during the war, dealt with these issues and never spoke of them.
While I have done a lot of reading and research on women in WWII – WACs, WAVES, WAPS, Nurses, etc. and knew of the discrimination they were up against, knew the rumors men spread about them being “easy” or “sluts”, the sexual abuse some endured, and how they had to fight for every opportunity even when they could do it better than a man, I knew very little about female war correspondents. I have researched some male war correspondents and photographers and have some books about them. It wasn’t until I read this book that a whole new world of research opened up for me. Thankfully the author provided several books in her notes that I can read.
The more I read this book, the more I admired the women who came before me. The struggles, abuse, trauma, and other things they endured to provide new opportunities for women in the future. I also realized there are many topics I still need to learn more about. Also, as I read, I felt sad because we still have a long way to go in how we view, respect, and treat women.
In 2019, women are still, around the world, fighting for rights, equal pay, and to not be viewed as sex objects because men can’t always control themselves. We are still fighting to be seen as equals. We are still fighting to have our bodies protected and not be told by men what we can and can’t do or how we can or can’t operate our bodies, and who can and can’t touch us. I sometimes wonder, how far have we really come since WWII? Sometimes it does not feel as far as we think we have.
This book and it’s topics also made me wonder what stories are within my family, like Jess’ that were hidden. Jess ends up enduring terrible things during the war, things she keeps secret until almost her dying days. Things she felt would protect her family and those she loved. I’m aware of the abuse that runs through the female ancestors in my family and I wonder if we acknowledge it happened and can work on healing it – how much we can change the world and ourselves.
I invite you to explore the deeper, darker, secretive stories of your family. To see if it is possible to discuss these topics with older family members and find out what their experience was. Knowing these things may help you better understand why family members are or were the way they are. To better help you understand the blessings and burdens you carry through your DNA and lineage. I also invite you to write the stories about this for your family. This doesn’t mean you have to share publicly, but get them down on paper so they aren’t lost. There are many lessons to be learned and healing to be done if we are brave enough to start the conversation.
These are a few books the author put in her Author’s Note at the end of the book. She also included a reading guide which makes this book a great book for book clubs.
What do you think about these topics? Have you explored them within your own family history? How have you been able to move beyond and heal the trauma of the past?
Disclaimer: The book links are affiliate links to Amazon. This does not affect the price you pay. When you purchase using my link I make a small percentage of the sale.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls
We have made it to June 2020 and the world, especially America is pushing the dark into the light. This is making us all very uncomfortable. Unstable. Nervous. Scared. Pushing a lot of guilt, shame, doubt, anger, rage, hate, and other negative emotions to the surface. Some belong to us, some belong to our ancestors, others belong to the collective that we feel in our bodies, hearts, and souls.
So what do we do with all this? How do we stay sane as the world is slowly deconstructed? All the things we believed were for our good are slowly being taken away. What will they be replaced with?
What energy are you primarily living in? Fear – which creates more of that in your universe? Doubt? Anger? Confusion? Grief? How are you exploring that and healing it?
In my new video I explore a huge realization I had last night – I am no longer ok with this life. I want out. I am no longer happy with the stories I’ve lived or tell and not happy with most of the characters, including the ones I’ve played.
When we reach that point, it is a step into complete freedom, which for most of the planet’s residents feels very scary. After watching my video – please share in the comments how you feel. What are you going through? How has your life and your ancestors’ lives or military histories affected how you process and deal with current events? I invite you to subscribe to my mailing list so you will receive more articles, resources, education, and tips on how to create your life in the new way this earth is being created.
I am here to help people explore their beliefs and shed old patterns. I have many ways to help you.
Explore my private facilitation session options.
Join my Genealogy Ancestral Lineage Healing Group.
Sign up for my newsletter & receive access to the free Finding the Answers Journey member area. Plus you will receive information about my soon to be released Ancestral Souls Healing Circle Membership. This will be a monthly membership in which we explore topics around personal and lineage healing.
Join my Roots & War Writing Group to start writing your stories.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls
2020 is a year of intense change on the planet. It is what some call The Great Awakening as millions around the world wake up to the games that have been played for centuries. The lies told by the media and government to keep us divided, poor, unable to think for ourselves, to not care for our bodies & souls as we should, and wreak havoc and create trauma for everyone. The lies and manipulation and control of religion to make sure we follow whatever path has been laid out so those in power remain in power and the rest of us feel we have zero choices and are wrong or shamed for any choice we make outside the strict box.
As we sit here in June 2020, just one day after (I hope) all the worldwide riots and protests have stopped, it is time to go within and ask ourselves the hard questions.
We are a combination of our personal experiences in this life plus the experiences and traumas of our ancestors and the collective on earth.
When we are born, we come into these bodies with our own knowing and beliefs. To fit in with our tribe we marinate in the soup of what our parents believe, how they behave, how our siblings, extended family, and society believe and behave. We learn to adapt to become part of the tribe for survival. Usually it isn’t until much later in life that we stop to explore WHY we believe all we believe and choose to behave as we do. At this point we realize we have a choice in how to create our lives and can let go of our family’s, society’s and the collective’s negative or destructive beliefs.
Each of those who came before us make many choices to survive, based on what they learned from their families, society, religion, and education. Over centuries of programming people into believing certain things – most people don’t even question their beliefs or behavior anymore. Those who are awake – do question.
Often those who are awake are seen as “crazy” or “stupid” or in need of mental health services because the questions we ask, the possibilities and magic of the universe of which we are aware, and the layers of lies we see, according to most people on the planet – couldn’t possibly be true. Therefore there is something really wrong with those of us who are awake and questioning. I mean, if we go against what the media, family, religion, education, government has told us over and over – we can’t possibly be right….can we?
Those who step outside of the box and think for themselves, question everything are often the loners in the family who have said ENOUGH! Enough of the negative patterns. Enough of the old beliefs that only hold me back. Enough of the lack mentality. Enough of not being allowed to be our full and honest selves. Enough of not being able to speak our truths. Enough of ignoring our intuition and invisible guides that surround us always. Enough of keeping people in our lives who do not honor us but only seek to shame, blame, and put us down.
Our ancestors may have not been allowed to do their inner work due to the times in which they lived, but we have a choice now. Moving forward, this will be one way to create our reality on this planet as the earth gets a consciousness upgrade.
It starts by acknowledging you are a POWERFUL INTUITIVE BEING. Go within and tune into your knowing. Start doing your healing and clearing work to more easily release the old patterns. Start speaking your truth and be true to yourself even if it means you lose family and friends. A new tribe will show up for you. Not all who cross our paths are meant to be in our lives forever. Some are there only for a season to be our greatest teachers to help us learn our harder lessons and become who we are here to be.
Also start ASKING QUESTIONS and RESEARCHING. Ask questions when your intuition tells you something is not quite right. Listen to your body and knowing. Then dig. Explore all those resources outside mainstream media or what social media has programmed you to believe are reliable sources (based on their agenda). Stop looking for the “experts” to only be those with an advanced degree. There are many people on the planet tuning into the universe who have information to share. Many who are in the know but can’t reveal their sources.
They say truth is stranger than fiction. Isn’t that the time we are living in? As more comes to light the rest of 2020, the truth will be stranger and more horrifying than fiction. I have wondered how many of my family and friends will need mental health services when the truth comes out. So many have chosen to label me as in need of services because I’ve tried to wake them up and keep honoring my knowing and do my inner work. But the reality is – I’m more equipped to handle the truth at this point and I do worry about the others who are not.
Do your inner work and honor your truth. I started my conscious spiritual journey 21 December 2012 when many on the planet woke up. Since then I’ve spent thousands of hours a year working on my inner stuff and healing the abuse and trauma in my lineage, with various teachers. I’ve also committed to a meditation practice which has increased tremendously this year. As hard as some of the things that have come up have been, I’m grateful I walked through the fire and was willing to look at the dark parts of myself and my lineage. Had I not – I think I would have been a mess through all the changes this year.
One thing everyone can do is continue planting seeds for those who are not awake. Tell your story and how you chose to wake up and question. How you chose to look at your family patterns and beliefs and let things go. Others will wake up this year as the truth comes out. Those of us who have been doing our work and shining our lights will be needed even more. It will be a good idea to continue your self-care and spiritual practices and see where you can improve so you remain grounded and sourced as these changes occur.
Finally, we can thank our ancestors and family for their burdens and blessings, beliefs, life, and impact on our lives today. Without them we wouldn’t be here for an exciting time on the planet. One many of us have lived lifetimes for, always hoping peace and abundance would come. It will, be patient and continue doing your work. Shed the old ancestral beliefs and patterns.
I am here to help people explore their beliefs and shed old patterns. I have many ways to help you.
Explore my private facilitation session options.
Join my Genealogy Ancestral Lineage Healing Group.
Sign up for my newsletter & receive access to the free Finding the Answers Journey member area. Plus you will receive information about my soon to be released Ancestral Souls Healing Circle Membership. This will be a monthly membership in which we explore topics around personal and lineage healing.
Join my Roots & War Writing Group to start writing your stories.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls