Tag: family patterns
What family wound or pattern do you want to release in your life?
Each of our families carry negative or destructive patterns that may go back a few generations or thousands of years. These, on a subconscious level, can hold us back. Explore some of these patterns in your family and allow them to release.
Please comment below to share with others if you feel comfortable.
I also invite you to journal on this question on your own.
Have you used genograms to take a deeper dive into your personal and family history? What did you discover?
Please comment below to share with others if you feel comfortable.
I also invite you to journal on this question on your own.
When exploring my family history or living my life, is it valuable to divide and separate people thereby making some more important than others, especially at the expense of making myself small? Why or why not?
Please comment below to share with others if you feel comfortable.
I also invite you to journal on this question on your own.
When I look at what’s happening in the world today and find similar events in my ancestors’ lives, what lessons are available for me?
Please comment below to share with others if you feel comfortable.
I also invite you to journal on this question on your own.
2020 is a year of intense change on the planet. It is what some call The Great Awakening as millions around the world wake up to the games that have been played for centuries. The lies told by the media and government to keep us divided, poor, unable to think for ourselves, to not care for our bodies & souls as we should, and wreak havoc and create trauma for everyone. The lies and manipulation and control of religion to make sure we follow whatever path has been laid out so those in power remain in power and the rest of us feel we have zero choices and are wrong or shamed for any choice we make outside the strict box.
As we sit here in June 2020, just one day after (I hope) all the worldwide riots and protests have stopped, it is time to go within and ask ourselves the hard questions.
We are a combination of our personal experiences in this life plus the experiences and traumas of our ancestors and the collective on earth.
When we are born, we come into these bodies with our own knowing and beliefs. To fit in with our tribe we marinate in the soup of what our parents believe, how they behave, how our siblings, extended family, and society believe and behave. We learn to adapt to become part of the tribe for survival. Usually it isn’t until much later in life that we stop to explore WHY we believe all we believe and choose to behave as we do. At this point we realize we have a choice in how to create our lives and can let go of our family’s, society’s and the collective’s negative or destructive beliefs.
Each of those who came before us make many choices to survive, based on what they learned from their families, society, religion, and education. Over centuries of programming people into believing certain things – most people don’t even question their beliefs or behavior anymore. Those who are awake – do question.
Often those who are awake are seen as “crazy” or “stupid” or in need of mental health services because the questions we ask, the possibilities and magic of the universe of which we are aware, and the layers of lies we see, according to most people on the planet – couldn’t possibly be true. Therefore there is something really wrong with those of us who are awake and questioning. I mean, if we go against what the media, family, religion, education, government has told us over and over – we can’t possibly be right….can we?
Those who step outside of the box and think for themselves, question everything are often the loners in the family who have said ENOUGH! Enough of the negative patterns. Enough of the old beliefs that only hold me back. Enough of the lack mentality. Enough of not being allowed to be our full and honest selves. Enough of not being able to speak our truths. Enough of ignoring our intuition and invisible guides that surround us always. Enough of keeping people in our lives who do not honor us but only seek to shame, blame, and put us down.
Our ancestors may have not been allowed to do their inner work due to the times in which they lived, but we have a choice now. Moving forward, this will be one way to create our reality on this planet as the earth gets a consciousness upgrade.
It starts by acknowledging you are a POWERFUL INTUITIVE BEING. Go within and tune into your knowing. Start doing your healing and clearing work to more easily release the old patterns. Start speaking your truth and be true to yourself even if it means you lose family and friends. A new tribe will show up for you. Not all who cross our paths are meant to be in our lives forever. Some are there only for a season to be our greatest teachers to help us learn our harder lessons and become who we are here to be.
Also start ASKING QUESTIONS and RESEARCHING. Ask questions when your intuition tells you something is not quite right. Listen to your body and knowing. Then dig. Explore all those resources outside mainstream media or what social media has programmed you to believe are reliable sources (based on their agenda). Stop looking for the “experts” to only be those with an advanced degree. There are many people on the planet tuning into the universe who have information to share. Many who are in the know but can’t reveal their sources.
They say truth is stranger than fiction. Isn’t that the time we are living in? As more comes to light the rest of 2020, the truth will be stranger and more horrifying than fiction. I have wondered how many of my family and friends will need mental health services when the truth comes out. So many have chosen to label me as in need of services because I’ve tried to wake them up and keep honoring my knowing and do my inner work. But the reality is – I’m more equipped to handle the truth at this point and I do worry about the others who are not.
Do your inner work and honor your truth. I started my conscious spiritual journey 21 December 2012 when many on the planet woke up. Since then I’ve spent thousands of hours a year working on my inner stuff and healing the abuse and trauma in my lineage, with various teachers. I’ve also committed to a meditation practice which has increased tremendously this year. As hard as some of the things that have come up have been, I’m grateful I walked through the fire and was willing to look at the dark parts of myself and my lineage. Had I not – I think I would have been a mess through all the changes this year.
One thing everyone can do is continue planting seeds for those who are not awake. Tell your story and how you chose to wake up and question. How you chose to look at your family patterns and beliefs and let things go. Others will wake up this year as the truth comes out. Those of us who have been doing our work and shining our lights will be needed even more. It will be a good idea to continue your self-care and spiritual practices and see where you can improve so you remain grounded and sourced as these changes occur.
Finally, we can thank our ancestors and family for their burdens and blessings, beliefs, life, and impact on our lives today. Without them we wouldn’t be here for an exciting time on the planet. One many of us have lived lifetimes for, always hoping peace and abundance would come. It will, be patient and continue doing your work. Shed the old ancestral beliefs and patterns.
I am here to help people explore their beliefs and shed old patterns. I have many ways to help you.
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© 2020 Ancestral Souls
There are so many ways to look at our genealogy and military family history in deeper ways than just compiling a family tree. The Genogram, a diagram outlining the history of the behavior patterns (as of divorce, abortion, or suicide) of a family over several generations, is one tool that can be useful to dive deeper into your past and also heal your present.
The best way to show you what a genogram looks like is to give you something interactive. View a short Genogram video depicting the Skywalker family from Star Wars.
Genograms can show us through various symbols showing relationships, births, marriages, deaths, patterns, and some biographical data, what is happening in a family at a point in time. Therapists use genograms to explore what a new client is dealing with at the time they start therapy. One nice thing about a genogram is it can be continually expanded as new information comes in or the therapy sessions continue.
So if this is a tool for therapists, why should family historians or those seeking to do self-healing use it? I use it because it shows the family patterns and issues we may not otherwise see. Sometimes a visual example is better than a story.
When I completed my genogram in December 2019, while reading the book Family Secrets by John Bradshaw, I was astounded and shocked that I was living pieces of my paternal grandparent’s lives. Not the blessing part of their lives but the burdens. Expanding this again in May 2020 I learned even more patterns I was carrying forward in my life and relationships, not only on the paternal side but the maternal side. John’s book helped me explore many aspects of my family history and he gives many examples of how family historians can use genograms in a simple way.
This knowledge created a turning point for me in which I had to choose to continue these patterns or allow them to surface and look at the dark side of my family and personal history. Look at the choices I’ve made unconsciously, that now I can bring to the conscious level and explore. What is working? What is not? What can I let go of or change? Do I still have to repeat negative or destructive patterns? It is all a choice.
Interestingly, this diagram can be used for so much more than behavioral patterns. We can map out the beliefs and patterns for an individual and family relating to the following topics. This information can help us explore our personal patterns and negative traits in relationship to different areas of our life. Looking at these areas can allow old patterns and inherited ancestral burdens to come out of the dark into the light to look at. Once we are able to look at these things, we can heal and release them so they not longer affect us or our ancestors or descendants.
Join my mailing list to be the first to hear about my new Ancestral Souls Healing Circle Membership, launching in June 2020. In this healing circle we will have monthly Zoom meetings to explore topics like this and other deeper genealogy and family pattern topics. When you join the mailing list you also get access to the free member’s area of Finding the Answers Journey, which is my course and webinar website.
Do you have questions or would you like to work with me? Email me at info@wwiirwc.com to discuss.
Disclosure – the book link is an affiliate link. I make a tiny percentage off the sale. This does not affect the price you pay.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls
Family patterns and secrets, the known and unknown, can really create chaos in our lives when not explored, acknowledged and healed. Family Constellations is one way to work with family patterns and explore the past.
Family Constellations is a system created by the late Bert Hellinger to help individuals and families see the known and unknown in a family system (constellation) and work to heal and release those patterns. This is important because we all, consciously or unconsciously, are living pieces of our parents, siblings, or ancestors’ lives, usually in ways that mess us up and keep us stuck.
I learned about Family Constellations several years ago but only in the last year have I really begun to dig into the depths of it. After reading a few books on the subject, I discovered Nikki MacKay, an author, family constellator, and therapist in the U.K. who specializes in this and writes about it in a way anyone can use it. Her methods of explaining how to do a constellation alone or with a group opened up many doors for me.
Nikki’s book Between the Lines. Healing the Individual and Ancestral Soul with Family Constellation is a great starter guide for those like me, who need their hand held a bit more to fully understand this process.
I recently received another one of her books that was published later (more on that in a different article). I think she took sections of her first book and greatly expanded it for the next. I like this approach because it gives people greater choice on how to proceed.
In Between the Lines, Nikki takes us on a journey through Family Constellations and explains in just over 100 pages how to start working with it, the benefits, what entangles us with our ancestors, and possible outcomes. She also explains how some of the entanglements between us and a family member(s) can create continued destructive or negative living patterns in our lives.
For example, through some prior family patterns work and several tools in addition to Nikki’s book, I realized I am living out and standing in for entanglements and issues for my Grandpa Joe and Grandma Libbie. Several things about their lives and the war have affected me. Only I didn’t realize it until last year. There are many similarities between how they lived and patterns I unconsciously recreated in my life and one particular relationship.
When I first realized this late last year it FREAKED ME OUT! I was angry, scared, happy, uncertain, and many other emotions. To be honest, I’d spent the last 6-7 years focused on my maternal line and the healing I knew I had to do for me and that side. I was ignoring – consciously my paternal side out of fear and other things I couldn’t name until last September when Libbie showed up and gave me some big awareness. Then I started looking more and healing my issues that also come down the ancestral lines from them and even before them.
Reading Nikki’s two books has given me even more tools to use to explore the entanglements and release them. To step into the more authentic ME as I work through the past. To stop repeating relationship patterns and negative things that only mess up my life and joy and really – to some extent my intimate relationship.
So what’s next? Well I plan to finish her other book I bought. Waiting on a third to arrive that she wrote. I will be incorporating her techniques into my personal healing and meditation and journaling sessions. I will also be teaching a little of this in my new Ancestral Souls Healing Circle Membership program I’m launching soon. Join my mailing list today to be first to be notified about the new member area. Important! stay subscribed to all Kajabi marketing emails – those come from me. If you unsubscribe and own any products, you do not receive the emails for those products or the member area.
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Disclaimer: The book link is an affiliate link and I make a tiny percentage off the sale. This does not affect your purchase price.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls
The Shift Network is offering a new course by Dr. Judith Orloff. Have you read any of her books on being an empath or handling the energy? I have two of them and they changed my life. Her tools are easy to use, she explains things in a way anyone can understand and offers positive energy.
If you’ve not taken a Shift Network class, I highly recommend it. Each class has several weeks’ worth of modules, usually a healing or exercise is done each class, and there is a worksheet for continued practice or writing. Most offer a private FB group in which you can also discuss and there is Q&A after each session. I’ve found these classes so valuable.
Register today to watch the free 60-minute webinar.
If you’re an empath or sensitive person, it’s more important than ever to reign in your extrasensory “feelers” — and start using your special intuitive powers to attend to your own physical and emotional wellbeing…
… so you’re not energetically drained by the world’s suffering, others’ stresses — and your own emotional triggers.
On Wednesday, May 27, bestselling author and psychiatrist Judith Orloff, MD, will share how you can start building effective energetic protection skills and lean into the art of surrender — to become unburdened of toxic energies and able to transmute your life experiences –– in a free video event, Dr. Judith Orloff’s Keys to Being a Healthy Empath: Practices for Protection, Surrender & Listening to Your Intuition During Stressful Times.
You can RSVP for free here: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/khe/a21099
During this self-empowering 60 minutes, you’ll:
Judith teaches empaths, and everyone, how not to succumb to their triggers and all the cries of the world, and, instead, to listen first to their inner voice — what she calls the voice of energy.
To be a healer — for yourself and others — you need to feel your own strength. Judith can show you how to find this inner power consistently… through practices you can access quickly and easily.
You won’t want to miss this special hour to start enjoying each moment and your unique predisposition for greater compassion, love, and a clear knowing that can help you and others heal.
You can RSVP for free here: https://shiftnetwork.infusionsoft.com/go/khe/a21099
Disclaimer: The link is my affiliate link and I make a small percentage off the sale of the course. This does not affect the price you pay.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls
In my continued study of topics related to personal and ancestral healing, through some conference I registered for online I received an email about a webinar by Troy Love, author of the book Finding Peace. A Workbook on Healing From Loss, Neglect, Rejection, Abandonment, Betrayal, and Abuse.
He had a free offer of a 5-day email course and after watching his short video about the course, I signed up and then purchased his book.
Books have a way of showing up in my life when I need them or one of my clients needs them. This book showed up for the people in my writing group specifically I discovered, but also for my personal healing.
Troy’s workbook takes you through a group therapy setting in which he introduces the cast of characters and their personal stories. All stories and people are fictional. His chapters then take the group, week by week, through some deep healing. While upon first flip through of the workbook, you may think the worksheets are not that in-depth or “exciting” but they can create massive transformation and deep healing if you do the work.
Chapters:
Week One – The Group and Wound Assessment (Core wounds we suffer)
Week Two – Core Beliefs
Week Three – Core Emotions
Week Four – The Shadows of Shame (there are six
Week Five – Numbing and Mutated Emotions
Week Six – Faith, Hope, and Compassion
Week Seven – Tattoo Removal (the ink stains of core wounds in your heart and body)
Week Eight – Peace and Pain
Throughout the book and each chapter, Troy also has some graphics that clearly show how we start with core wounds and work out through a circle adding layers of beliefs, emotions, shame, etc. This is similar to what I’ve seen in other healing books and classes but presented differently.
I think it’s important to study different teachers and approaches because we will pick something up from one and not another. We all heal and process in different ways.
I recommend this book for anyone starting to look at their personal core wounds, beliefs, emotions and healing. This workbook is easy to use, the narrative he presents for his group meetings give many perspectives of wounds and family history and patterns. It allows us to take personal responsibility for our choices and also to see that we aren’t alone in our wounds and feelings.
Further, I think this book can be used for you alone or in a small group setting, as Troy has illustrated. If you can find a core group of people to work with, create a safe, sacred, open, non-judgmental space – I see this working well. You do not need to be a therapist to use this workbook. However, if you feel things are triggering too much, you should consider seeking professional help.
Disclaimer: The book link is an affiliate link and I make a tiny percentage off the sale. This does not affect the price you pay.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls
I contemplate many questions. Question to which there are no right or wrong answers. Questions that when asked in a safe, sacred space can create beautiful, healing discussions. Warning! This post may trigger some people. There are no right/wrong answers but I do give you a lot of questions to sit with.
Last fall I read a book My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem about racialized trauma. While his book is meant to be read over a period of time so people can work through all the exercises he provides, I read the book in about three days. Why?
My learning style, especially with books full of exercises or workbook pages is to read it through then start over. Also, I was hosting a webinar and felt this book would be important to mention. Reading it first to understand what it was about was important.
In this book, to achieve healing and remove white supremacy and racism from the country (his book is focused on America), we must separate and divide to do our work. White bodied people (Resmaa’s words) should do their work. Black/Brown bodied people (his words) should do theirs. Blue bodied people (his words – police) should do their work. It appears only in some cases can we come together to discuss.
Do you agree with this? I have several thoughts/answers to this question. What you feel is up to you. I am presenting different sides of the question to consider.
When I first read the book and then went back through it, I could see why he broke people into groups. Just as it is true that a woman who has never gone through IVF or lost a baby, cannot fully understand what that is like. Or someone who has or had cancer – those who have not cannot fully understand all the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional things that come up. The same for those who are in white, brown/black or blue bodies. If in this life we are in one particular body with a specific lineage (we won’t even get into past lives) then we cannot fully understand someone else’s life and history. In some ways it makes sense that you would divide and work in groups of people like you with similar stories.
In division there can be created a safe space to discuss what comes up for a specific group – again whether you are talking about racism, cancer, loss, grief, etc.
This is where I started asking questions on the other side. Earlier in 2020 I watched a webinar Resmaa participated in, in which he talked about racialized trauma and his book concepts. Reading a book is one thing – if you read energy you pick up a certain energy that way. When you see someone teach, speak, online or in person, you have access to another level of energy.
The longer he spoke, the more the energies of anger, frustration, irritation rose. That may not have been apparent to all people watching but for me, being sensitive to energy, it really was. No longer did I feel all good things about his concepts.
I also began to wonder as a facilitator or speaker, should we be grounding and providing the information in a calmer manner, especially if the topic is triggering? Or is there a place for the anger to rise? If it does, will that turn people off from your message?
Recently in speaking with others about the concepts in my ancestral lineage healing group, most people, including those of color, were put off and angry that such a book could be written. After all, aren’t we trying to come together rather than separate?
After explaining the purpose behind it, most people in the conversation could see that perspective. They may not have agreed with it but could understand it. The entire conversation we had, which lasted about a half an hour was beautiful. Peaceful. Healing. Considering we had people in the group of color, white bodied people and at least one whose lineage contained KKK members, most people would think it would erupt into a violent abusive conversation.
It did not. It was healing and beautiful.
There is a part of me that feels the more we divide and encourage division and separation to do our work, the more of that we will see in the world. Where you put your attention and energy is what you create more of – whether you want it or not.
So if we continue to separate – are we creating more of that?
This brings me back to my original question. Why do we have to divide and separate and group people? This world and our country is so full of division. Media and social media have an agenda to continue promoting division, racism, inequality so those who choose to, continue to hate, be abusive, divide, murder, and assault.
More people are waking up to this agenda. More people are doing their personal inner work to heal themselves, their patterns, their lineage, so issues like this will maybe some day cease to exist.
So today I sit on the fence, one leg on each side, contemplating if division is the best way to heal. I can see both sides of the issue and for some people one way works where the other doesn’t. There is no one right way to heal or do your inner work, no matter what the “experts” and “gurus” and authors tell you.
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Disclosure: The book link is an affiliate link. I make a tiny percentage off the sale which does not affect the price you pay.
© 2020 Ancestral Souls