We have made it to June 2020 and the world, especially America is pushing the dark into the light. This is making us all very uncomfortable. Unstable. Nervous. Scared. Pushing a lot of guilt, shame, doubt, anger, rage, hate, and other negative emotions to the surface. Some belong to us, some belong to our ancestors, others belong to the collective that we feel in our bodies, hearts, and souls.
So what do we do with all this? How do we stay sane as the world is slowly deconstructed? All the things we believed were for our good are slowly being taken away. What will they be replaced with?
What energy are you primarily living in? Fear – which creates more of that in your universe? Doubt? Anger? Confusion? Grief? How are you exploring that and healing it?
In my new video I explore a huge realization I had last night – I am no longer ok with this life. I want out. I am no longer happy with the stories I’ve lived or tell and not happy with most of the characters, including the ones I’ve played.
When we reach that point, it is a step into complete freedom, which for most of the planet’s residents feels very scary. After watching my video – please share in the comments how you feel. What are you going through? How has your life and your ancestors’ lives or military histories affected how you process and deal with current events? I invite you to subscribe to my mailing list so you will receive more articles, resources, education, and tips on how to create your life in the new way this earth is being created.
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There are days you wish you could just stay in bed and hide under the covers all day. Never leave. This was one of those days. I’m a positive person and try to be cheerful but I’m human and some days, I’m really not fun to be around. This day I would have been happy staying in my cozy B&B all da. That evening I was supposed to drive to Goree-Overflakkee to give my final talk of the trip. Only the energy was such I didn’t want to. I felt “off.” Strange.
I’m sure it had something to do with the crazy dreams and sleep the night before and the fact I woke up to see a dead guy floating next to me after 1:00 a.m. after I heard the name JOHN. Yep folks – he was there, very peacefully floating and waiting. I’m fairly certain he was once one of my soldiers. I just watched him and after a little while he disappeared. And then I got up and wrote in my journal describing this man I had just seen. Usually I don’t see them.
So…….who was John?
I did eventually get out of bed and try to ground my energy. I went for a short drive to Fort St. Andries in Rossum, Netherlands to see what was there. It was a bit difficult to find even with my GPS but it was a lovely drive. I didn’t spend too much time there, but it was enough to feel less “off.” My afternoon was quiet and then I drove toward Goree-Overflakkee.
Now, my energy was still a bit “off” and crabby when I left. I set the GPS for fastest route and it thought taking a ferry was the fastest route. What?! I knew I had to get onto the island or Goree-Overflakkee but Dennis, who scheduled me to speak never mentioned a ferry! After a frantic text to Dennis, I realized that the ferry was near Heusden. That route was an option I had when I visited Heusden but since there was a bridge right there, I took the bridge. Changing the GPS to scenic route allowed it to think the ferry was not an option and on I went.
The drive should have been less than an hour and a half. It never….ever….seemed to want to end. Note to self for the future: When you set the GPS to scenic route to avoid the ferry 10 minutes from your start point, remember to change it back to fastest route. Why? Because scenic takes you on and off highways to drive the beautiful back roads, which add a million minutes to your drive. Once I realized what I had (not) done, I switched the GPS and was on my way.
I was almost on the island and got into the off ramp at the bridge to take me onto said island and it was stopped. No one was moving. 10 minutes, then 15. I was hungry. It was getting dark and I had to speak in a couple hours. Another frantic text off to Dennis and I discovered there was an accident. A couple miles up the road should be clear –if I could only get there.
Trusting the GPS had to know another way onto the island, I left the off-ramp and continued on this bridge about 5 km only to find that no, that was the only way on the island. I turned around and stopped at a gas station for a few minutes to gather my thoughts and breathe. I also texted my friend Mary and expressed my frustration. She said someone would attend the talk who needed me to show up. It seems when our energetic vibrations are raised, we are able to help others, often when we don’t even realize it. She said someone would thank me for being there that night. When I got back on the highway, the traffic was moving in both directions.
Needless to say by the time I hit Middleharnis I was frazzled. I asked the universe for a safe parking spot near somewhere I could have dinner. I had about an hour and a half before I needed to be at the school to set up. I got the parking spot right behind a French restaurant.
I’m very grateful to the angel waitress who could tell I was frazzled and spoke enough English to help me decide tea was better than a beer (which I really wanted at that point) and recommended something delicious for dinner. After I ordered I let Dennis know where I was. He knew I was frustrated and laughed because I had no idea where I was in relation to the school. Turns out I was 100 meters away. He said he’d come to the restaurant and say hello and tell me where to walk when I was finished.
Dinner was yummy, the tea was hot, and I was relaxed at the end of the meal. I walked to the school and met many people who had gathered for drinks prior to the program. A reporter had shown up to listen and I had a short interview prior to the talk. The energy was cheerful which helped reinforce the relaxed energy I was feeling. I was grateful.
I gave the program and talked about how to research WWII American soldier service. After I was finished, Dennis spoke about the air war on the island and some of his research. He had many photos of airmen and told us the story of a man who went down in a plane, only to have been later seen by someone who knew him from home, while he was wandering England. The man’s name was Jack.
And then the energy shifted and got all giddy and I almost laughed out loud because JACK is often a nickname for JOHN. The dead guy in my bed the night before, I was certain was this JACK. I asked Dennis if Jack was a nickname and he said he didn’t know. The reports only showed Jack. But the energy said otherwise.
When the program was over, several people stopped to talk to me and one in particular told me a story and then thanked me for being there. He reinforced that sometimes we are supposed to show up because someone needs us. I’m glad he and I both showed up that evening.
After hot tea with some of the attendees and conversation it was time to drive back to Ammerzoden. Dennis walked me back to my car and I told him about John and seeing him when I woke up the night before. He understood.
Was John the Jack, in the story Dennis told? We will never know for sure, but I think it was. And I’m grateful I got to meet him. Sometimes all the soldiers need is for someone to acknowledge them, to see them before they can move on peacefully.
Isn’t that all any of us really want – someone to really SEE us?
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